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Open letter to my friend

Open letter to my friend

I hope you’re doing well.

First thing I want to point out is that it’s not healthy to measure yourself with the world. You don’t need to be anyone but who you are. You don’t need to get the best grades (who cares about grades anyways), you don’t need to have a huge social network of friends. You just need to be who you really are. Be authentic to yourself. You can make 100 friends and still feel empty inside. It is better to have one true friend or even better: to be a friend to yourself.

At the same time, you need to learn how to manage the past. That’s not an easy thing for me to say, because I don’t have to deal with a major incident like that. Really, it does not seem like the type of thing you will ever be able to move past. So you will have to learn effective strategies to deal with that pain. Talking is one of them. Maybe meditation if it fits your personality. Study effective strategies, there are many people who endure terrible events like plane crashes or traumatic events that create PTSD, they need to form ways to deal with that.

That being said, you could very well have PTSD. Again, if you have not been seeing a good psychologist then you should be looking into that because there are a lot of thing you need to know. My father has PTSD, in fact it probably went right down the line from my great grandfather who was a machine gunner in world war I. Maybe your father had it is well, I don’t know, but investigate it, because it is very impacting.

The issue with your boyfriend. Again, very difficult. Whatever happens, after all of this I would recommend a period in your life where you let things settle down for a couple of years. You have way too much on your plate right now! You should really consider withdrawing from school perhaps. Final exams are soon but many schools have become more compassionate. Perhaps there is an option to withdrawal without penalties if you speak to your schools’ psychologist. Just a consideration.

So. Process what you have on your plate. You have a lot going on in your life right now. Ultimately, no one can tell you how to deal with all of these problems. They require you to come to personal resolutions.

What I can tell you is that you have wayyyy too much on your plate. Any one of those issues is difficult to deal with on its own. Yet you are managing all of these at the same time. You must be a titan. But slow down. You have to stop and figure things out for yourself at this point, you can’t just ignore your feelings and press on ahead. Some resolutions and processing is required here, but how can you do that when you have to worry about studies? School is optional. Dealing with your emotions is not.

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